How to Get Through a Difficult Divorce a Little Easier

How to Get Through a Difficult Divorce a Little Easier


If you’re going through a divorce, you’re probably feeling stressed and possibly even depressed. Nobody expects their marriage to fall apart, so when it happens, it can be devastating.

In addition to managing the emotional impact of a divorce, you also need to consider the financial impact, as well as how things will affect your children (if you have any). Divorce can have devastating consequences for everyone in the family, but it is especially hard on children.

While there is no magic pill to make your divorce perfectly smooth, here are some things you can do to make it a little easier.

1. Work with a family law attorney

There are many reasons you need a family law attorney. The biggest reason is to get your divorce completed quickly and efficiently. In states like California, the process can be a little confusing, and there are so many instances where small mistakes can have lasting consequences.

For instance, filing the paperwork for a divorce is not going to be easy and technical errors can make the process take longer. For instance, if you submit an incomplete or inaccurate form, your divorce will probably get sent to the bottom of the pile even if you correct your mistake right away. You’ll have to wait for your case to cycle back to the top.

In addition to technical details that can be extremely confusing, you’ll have to negotiate property distribution and child custody details. These two things will be the hardest part during your divorce, especially if you’re not on great terms with your spouse.

You’ll be unlikely to successfully negotiate property distribution directly with your spouse. You’re both going to be emotionally attached to certain pieces of property and may have different ideas regarding what’s fair. A family law attorney can help you with this process and will help you negotiate a workable child custody plan.

2. Seek counseling

Ending a marriage is a big deal and you’re probably not going to be in a healthy emotional state for a while. It’s ideal to seek counseling because you’ll get the support you need.

In addition to one-on-one counseling, consider group therapy. Many people say that group counseling sessions have helped them immensely according to this Denver therapist.

If you really don’t like the idea of counseling, try meditating every day to at least bring yourself to a place of calm where you can train your body out of anxious and angry emotions.

3. Get your kids into counseling fast

No matter how strong your kids appear on the outside, they’re probably struggling on the inside. Younger kids will be especially impacted by a divorce. It’s not just a matter of them watching their parents split up. After your divorce, your kids won’t get to see both of their parents at the same time. If you both share custody, they will end up living in two different houses, which will be a serious disruption to their sense of stability.

Kids need stability growing up, and when their home life is disrupted, the impact can be devastating. Divorce can cause kids to stop interacting with their peers, become painfully shy and anxious, and some kids can even develop severe anger.

Get your kids into counseling as quickly as possible. Therapy isn’t just about helping your kids understand they’re still loved by both of their parents. Love isn’t enough to help them through your divorce.

4. Don’t say anything negative to your children

Your divorce will be hard enough, but if you and your spouse are constantly bad-mouthing each other to your children, it will be worse. Not only will you get angrier, but you’ll see and feel the impact on your kids.

Avoid saying anything negative to your kids about your divorce or your spouse. If they’re older or if there was a serious issue of abuse that involved you or your child, that’s a different situation.

However, if you’re getting divorced because you just can’t make the relationship work anymore, don’t bring your kids into your issue. Saying bad things about the other parent will make them feel like they need to take sides, and they could end up resenting both of you.

Take things one day at a time

When you’re going through a divorce, there’s no way to avoid the emotional rollercoaster. Take things one day at a time and focus on taking care of yourself first. Do things that make you feel good and try keeping yourself active instead of shrinking away from the world. Once everything is finalized, it will get easier.